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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30024690">cotton candy haired fool</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/simigang/pseuds/simigang'>simigang</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>sim in quarantine! [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>K-pop, NCT (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - High School, Confessions, Fluff, M/M, Misunderstandings, except they're so much more sweeter, just my usual jam yeah??</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-20 14:02:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,905</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30024690</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/simigang/pseuds/simigang</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>contrary to popular belief, jisung's first love was not who everyone thought it was.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Na Jaemin/Park Jisung</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>sim in quarantine! [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1676638</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>68</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>cotton candy haired fool</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>i finished this like last year, but it's just now seeing the light of day oops. it originally wasn't supposed to be this long, but u know me,,,can't write anything short to save my life.<br/>jaemin + jisung rlly hit me like a ton of bricks last year, so i had to write them SOMETHING. i thought this suited them?? anyways. hope u like it. muah &lt;3.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>“No! </span>
  <em>
    <span>No! </span>
  </em>
  <span>Can we not talk about this again?” Chenle is screaming in his notable high pitched tone that distinguishes him from a crowd. They’re in the middle of eating lunch in their school’s crowded cafeteria, so his outburst garners attention. In Jisung’s case, it’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>unwanted </span>
  </em>
  <span>attention as he tries to shush his over dramatic friend from across the table. Maybe throwing his lunch set and starting an unintentional food fight was the only way to go about this.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Lele, can you shut up? You’re so loud!” Jisung is yelling too with a hushed voice in an attempt to diffuse the situation. Everyone is still turning back from their conversations and mediocre cafeteria food to give them attention. Jisung wants to shrivel up and hide. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why? </span>
  <em>
    <span>Why </span>
  </em>
  <span>should I shut up and take this abuse any longer? You’re always talking my ear off about—“ </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And that’s when Jisung does make an active move to quiet his best friend. It might look dramatic from an outsiders’ perspective, to every one of their peers who is watching, but Chenle has no regard or filter for anyone’s feelings minus his own. Especially when he’s annoyed. And Jisung won’t admit it but Chenle has done a great job putting up with his bullshit until now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t say another word!” Jisung is flustered and stuttering red. Chenle snatches the other boy’s huge hands away from covering his mouth. His face is set in an irritated frown. “Then you! Shut up and stop talking about him!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And Jisung did. For the rest of the day at least. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Everyone in that wretched school cafeteria, between the lonesome stragglers and gossiping wannabes, knew of the duo Chenle and Jisung. The pair was filled with talents as Chenle had a voice gifted by the angels (Jisung thought that was a crazy exaggeration) while Jisung was a dancing prodigy to the famous Lay Zhang (Chenle also, thought that was an insane fantasy). </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They’ve known each other since middle school. They’ve stuck to each other close as glue, thick as thieves, since then. Since their voices were all high pitched and Chenle was slightly taller than Jisung. Through all the video games, sleepovers, and probably </span>
  <em>
    <span>hundreds </span>
  </em>
  <span>of packets of ramen, they have grown to be best friends. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nothing more. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That’s where everyone misunderstood. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The rumors circulating around them could get annoying. Especially to Chenle who had a low patience when it came to idiotic misunderstandings. All they did was act like normal friends—close friends. No one should be raving about how they’ve held hands or hug all the time. About how they’re always posting about each other on social media. Or how they show up to each other’s performances being each other’s number one fans while screaming in the front row. It has everyone assuming just because they grew up together, they’re probably in love— </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The two would vomit at the thought. It’s just not true. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Contrary to popular belief, Jisung’s first love wasn’t who everyone thought it was. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Every sign in the book points to Chenle, his best friend. To an outsider looking in, he’s the one closest to him. He knows him best, better than some members of his family probably, and has seen every side Jisung has to offer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Including the embarrassing, sickeningly sweet side of his best friend that goes off on tangents about the boy he likes. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dude,” Chenle wonders if he should make it run for it now, “even though our dance instructor is super strict, Hyung is always so positive. He never looks tired. And he always gives me some of his water! Not saying he likes me, but—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But he doesn’t! He’s a nice team mate and probably gives everyone else water.” Chenle’s temper has been shorter than normal lately, but Jisung is immune to years worth of sass coming his way. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And I told you Na Jaemin talk is off limits! Was yesterday just my imagination?” Chenle, referring to his own lively outburst that occurred yesterday, groans and puts his utensils down. His hands stretched down his face lethargically as if it pained him to hear a second more of Jisung’s preaching. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At the mention of a name, </span>
  <em>
    <span>his </span>
  </em>
  <span>name, Jisung’s eyes widened cutely in panic. His hands were waving back and forth in an attempt to shoo the truth away. Despite his growing affections for his dancing senior, he rarely said his name while talking about him. Chenle would find it cute if he didn’t overstay his welcome between their conversations. But it’s everyday, </span>
  <em>
    <span>hyung this </span>
  </em>
  <span>and </span>
  <em>
    <span>hyung</span>
  </em>
  <span> that! What about hyung, </span>
  <em>
    <span>shut up</span>
  </em>
  <span> before I lose my sanity? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t say his name!” Jisung shushes and grabs Chenle’s face, squeezing his cheeks together to stop him from talking. “Someone may hear.” Not looking shady in the slightest, he glances around to see if anyone is paying attention. Within their table’s vancinity, no one cares enough to give them a double take.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Across the cafeteria, someone’s eyes catch the tail end of Jisung’s flustered reaction. His hand, placed around his friend’s face, squeezes so tight that the boy on the receiving end yelps. His reaction attracts attention from peers that the two don’t realize they’re receiving. It’s as if they’re in their own world. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Oh. It’s the couple again!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Chenle and Jisung should just come out already.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“They’re totally dating.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“There’s no way two people are that close without anything going on.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaemin’s eyes linger longer than usual. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hello? Earth to Jaemin? Are you there?” a nasally voice cuts through Jaemin’s thoughts. When he comes back to reality, three pairs of eyes are boring into his soul. He smiles. Not that he’s happy, but nervous that he’s been caught. That his eyes show more than his mouth could ever say. But after he assures to his friends that he’s mentally present and listening, they move on with their own stories and eating. Jaemin almost feels relieved. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Almost. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Renjun’s piercing stare of judgement is what pushes him to feel on edge. His eyes make Jaemin feel transparent. It’s as if they just saw through the layers of Jaemin’s personality that he forces himself to hide behind. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Between his longing stares and smiles, Jaemin figures maybe he’s been found out. Maybe Renjun was slowly putting the pieces together on why he couldn’t take his eyes off of his junior from their dance team. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But he decides to ignore Renjun and pretend he doesn’t feel his feelings growing. It’s better this way. Ignoring everything and avoiding coming to terms with the truth. It’s easier to hide from it all. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>+++</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Jisung really can’t put his finger on it, but everyone could tell Jaemin was off. At least, that’s what Jisung’s worrisome self assumed. He was always really nice, even going as far as to baby some of their members from time to time. Jisung had a hard time believing someone could be so perfect. Always walking around with a smile and larger than life laugh. Always checking up on him and making sure he’s eaten. In a typical practice, he’ll come up to everyone a couple times making sure they’ve had water and asking if they’re tired. His presence adds so much energy to their group. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But in the quietness of their school’s after school hours, when the music is cut to let the boys rest during their break, everyone is in their own respective corners. Jaemin and Haechan, the usual talkative pair during their down time, were separated on opposite sides of the room.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>Are they fighting</span>
  </em>
  <span>? Jisung couldn’t help but think.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey Jisungie,” Jeno’s caring voice is hovering above him. Jisung lifts his head from it’s hanging position between his shoulders. He was hunched over in tiredness. Their Winter Show stage was within a week and their instructor decided to add last minute surprise elements. Maybe everyone was tired and that’s why it was so silent. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jisung greeted his friend and took the water bottle offered to him. One of these days, he’ll remember to bring his own reusable container. It doesn’t have anything to do with the fact that Jaemin is always offering a sip of his own. Letting his curiosity get the best of him, he decides to ask, “Are Jaemin hyung and Haechan hyung okay? They look like they’re ignoring each other.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jeno looked behind him at the direction Jisung’s eyes were fixated on. Jaemin was tucked in the corner of the room, his pink hair sticking to his forehead, with his face buried deep in his phone. Jeno then glanced over at Haechan who was scrolling absentmindedly. When Haechan felt Jeno’s stare on him, his face changed from neutral to confusion. His eyebrows furrowed before shaking his head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They aren’t! They aren’t! Jaemin has just been acting weird since lunch. We tried talking to him, but he just brushed us off.” Jeno assured Jisung it had nothing to do with his precious seniors fighting. The last thing they wanted was drama amongst their little dance crew, but Jisung felt even more uneasy with that knowledge. He’s never seen, or maybe just hadn’t noticed Jaemin feeling down, in the past. He‘s only known everyone since last school year, so it was only a matter of time before they saw each other at their low points. Jisung knew Jaemin wasn’t some happy robot who was immune to bad days, but it still didn’t make him feel any better to see him upset. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is he okay? What’s going on?” Jisung, failing to recognize his innocent look of worry and nosiness, took Jeno off guard. He never knew Jisung was harboring an interest for Jaemin, but maybe it has something to do with the undying favoritism and attention his best friend showers his junior with. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jeno hesitates to expose what he theorizes to be the explanation for his friend’s weird behavior. He could definitely keep it to himself, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Bro Code</span>
  </em>
  <span> trumps all, or he can just give Jisung a tiny push. Something to escalate the turtle pace of this situation… which could just be a theory. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s been talking to our friend Renjun all day, so I’m not sure.” Jeno says honestly. He really doesn’t know what’s up, but he does have an idea thanks to overhearing both him and Renjun trying to be secretive before practice started. “But you should ask him. He may feel better after speaking his mind.” Jeno smiles which makes Jisung feel a little bit better and worse about everything.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Better since Jeno, someone close to Jaemin, has faith that he would even consider sharing something secretive with Jisung. And worse because he has no idea who this Renjun boy is and why Jaemin is spending time texting, most likely, every detail of his problems to him. It feels Jisung with a sickening emotion . </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>When practice ends, everyone’s mood is up apart from Jisung’s. He has this sad frown etched into his face that he thinks everyone doesn’t notice, but it’s the hardest thing to ignore. Even the dance instructor checks on his condition as he makes major missteps in the choreography they’ve known for weeks. Jaemin feels better after sending a novel length text to Renjun, who found out about his crush on his junior due to his </span>
  <em>
    <span>“disgusting staring”</span>
  </em>
  <span>. His friend advises him to get his head out of his ass and stop overthinking. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He doesn’t even know if Jisung actually likes his best friend, that Chenle kid, whom he’s always hanging around with. It’s only a rumor right? Is Jaemin allowed to hope for something more?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Too much thinking allows him to neglect the real problem at hand. Jaemin doesn’t realize Jisung is sulking and pouting until he’s about to leave. Everyone else has left first, while Jaemin is too busy being distracted by his phone, meaning Jisung was the only one waiting out in the hallway. Sitting on the tile, he sees Jaemin’s Vans first before slowly looking up. Their eyes only meet for a second until Jisung breaks the contact and pouts his lips unintentionally. Is Jisung mad? Upset? Jaemin has no idea why, but he looks really adorable making that face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It would be completely uncalled for to squish his cheeks, right?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jisungiee~” Jaemin calls out to him. Jisung wishes he could recover as easily as Jaemin and be in a happy mood, but his feelings aren’t letting him. He doesn’t even have a right to be jealous, yet it’s all his mind circulates around. “My Jisung~ What’s wrong?” Jaemin squats down into Jisung’s field of vision so there’s no escaping him. Even though the hallway was vacant, Jisung had nowhere to run. Jaemin would just catch him like always. Maybe if he could phone a friend, he'd be able to reach Chenle. He was the best at reasoning his way out of a situation. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jisung,” Jaemin says more seriously, and the boy in question finally has the heart to hold his gaze. His ears are burning red and he feels his heart rate quicken. Jaemin already looks good everyday, but being so close is not good for his heart. His eyes are so big and pretty, the same could be said about his smile. And not everyone can pull off pink hair, but he does it well. Better than well in Jisung’s opinion. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If something is bothering you, don’t feel pressured to tell me, it’s okay.” Jaemin finally gives in. He sits toe to toe with Jisung who is up against the painted brick wall. Sitting in the middle of the hallway would normally be frowned down upon, but it’s late after school. No one is roaming around to care about them taking up space. “Why are you still sitting here? Practice ended,” Jaemin moves to check his phone, “twenty minutes ago.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jisung replies shortly, “My mom hasn’t left work yet.” He really didn’t feel like talking but Jaemin somehow pulled words out of him and took his mind off of what was really wrong. Even if the problem had everything to do with the boy himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Really?” Jaemin says, rocking back and forth while hugging his knees to his chest, “why don’t I just take you home?” Jaemin suggests spontaneously. He’s smiling as if he’s excited by the idea meanwhile Jisung’s eyes widen in shock. He did know Jaemin could drive, but this is like a detail from a daydream coming true. He’s lost for words. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaemin takes the younger’s silence as apprehension. He’s laughing while trying to explain, “Don’t worry Jisungie, I’ll get you home in one piece. No worries.” He’s getting up before Jisung can even refute. Grabbing his hand and holding on tightly while explaining how harsh they graded him on his driver’s test. He swears a bad grade doesn’t equate to a bad driver. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jisung can barely keep up with life throwing him this loop. What kind of game is fate playing?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>+++</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have you been here before?” Jaemin is already pulling up to the store front. It was one of the local chains he and Chenle had frequented before. They sell all kinds of fancy drinks, and Chenle and Jisung were always fighting on whether smoothies or milk tea was better. Jisung would argue to his death before drinking that taro milk tea Chenle always does. “Oh, yeah.” Jisung replied nervously, shifting in his seat. He was already holding on for dear life on the door handle, too tense to relax. The entire car ride was filled with silence. Jisung, too antsy to speak up over the music. And Jaemin, too conscious of the situation he created for himself. He couldn’t believe Jisung was in his car right now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yes, he may have dug himself in a hole, but he likes him. He likes him so much, and he wants to spend time with him. So Jaemin just drives and drives until he sees a familiar place that he thinks Jisung might enjoy.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, is it okay if we get something to drink? Before I take you home and everything,” Jaemin asks, realizing he unintentionally dragged Jisung here with his heart leading the way.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>What if Jisung was busy? What if he had things to do or he didn’t even want to—</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, uhm, sure.” Jisung nodded with pursed lips and an unwavering stare facing forward. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Attempting to focus on something other than the boy next to him, he reads the signs on the glass windows. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh cool, they’re open until 10pm today. </span>
  </em>
  <span>If he were to stay until close with Jaemin, that’s three hours together. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Three full hours</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He doesn’t know how he’d fill the time. They’ve never really spent that much time together—unless it consisted of dancing until his feet ached—so it’s hard to imagine. But he’s sure he doesn’t want to go home right away (now that this is </span>
  <em>
    <span>actually </span>
  </em>
  <span>happening). </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi, what can I get for you guys?” the person working the register says with faked enthusiasm. Jisung is expecting Jaemin to go first, but the elder just stays quiet behind him. He turns around when the silence stretches on for longer than what’s considered socially acceptable and is only faced with eyes of expectation, ones urging him to </span>
  <em>
    <span>go! say something! </span>
  </em>
  <span>And he stumbles on his words when he finally does. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s a bit embarrassed when he places his order and even more so when Jaemin steps up right behind him to say his own. He takes out his card to pay for them both before Jisung can protest. He was ready to pay! He even got the five dollars his mom had given him out of his backpack for this!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You didn’t have to” Jisung is gesturing to the front counter where they just ordered  “do that.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaemin loved watching Jisung getting all panicky and shy because of such a simple gesture. It reminded him of the first time he bought him snacks from the school’s vending machine because he said he was hungry. The way his eyes grew in admiration was enough to get Jaemin hooked on the euphoria that came with caring for him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s nothing really, you can just pay for mine next time.” Jaemin brushed off his act of kindness. He didn’t want Jisung to feel guilty. And Jisung didn’t. In fact, he felt far from it. His veins filled with hope and high on excitement at the thought of a next time. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Before taking their seats, a corner table near the back of the shop, Jaemin asked “Do you have to go home right away?” not really knowing about how strict Jisung’s parents are (or how thrilled they may be that his dance teammate, who’ve they’ve never met before, is taking him on random drink runs).</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh</span>
  </em>
  <span>! Nope. Not at all. Why?” Jisung tries to nonchalantly say. Instead, it sounds forced and jumbled. It’s all because Na Jaemin and his stupid ability to make him nervous. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He doesn’t make fun of his way of speaking though. Instead, he just smiles and pretends he doesn’t notice. “Cool, um, they have games here. Like, cards or something. We can play if you’re bored. Or… just talk.” Jaemin is naming off suggestions unsure if Jisung will be content with anything available. There’s limited options in a tea place designed for people to come and go.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When their drinks are called, Jaemin makes a move to go pick them up. “I’m fine with whatever you want to do.” He sweetly smiles at Jisung before turning around to travel to the front counter. Jisung wants to die at the sight of Jaemin’s eye-catching grin. Really, some things should be admired and painted, and then sold to a museum. No, not the northern lights, but Na Jaemin’s smile. </span>
  <em>
    <span>The sight is priceless, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Jisung thinks to himself. Nothing could compare to the beauty. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Once their cups are empty, they are long forgotten and abandoned at the side of the table. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, you’ve been dancing for that long? No wonder why you’re so good.” Jaemin discreetly praises Jisung as they’re in the middle of their second game. Jisung is proving that either he’s a god at Jenga or Jaemin just sucks at this. All games in general. He beat him in all but one round of Uno. Even though Jisung keeps on winning, Jaemin is doing nothing but happily grinning at his boasting. He wishes he can have that mentality when Chenle throws his accomplishments in his face. He knows it’s nothing but harmless boasting between best friends, but still. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He’s annoying</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m honestly not that good. The rest of the team is better than me.” Jisung tries to humble himself while reaching for a block in the middle. It’s an unstable spot, but he’s been doing good so far. Maybe, he can win once again over Jaemin. He doesn’t know why, but he really wants to prove his skills even if it’s at these pointless games. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wiggles the wooden block. It’s almost free! Then, Jaemin interjects, “You’re the best dancer on the team” He compliments adamantly. Getting especially close to the tower of wooden bricks, Jaemin says in a low tone, “Seriously Jisung, I really like you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jisung’s hand falters and the tower comes crashing down with an embarrassingly loud thud. The college student, busy working on their fancy folding laptop, even stops their work to turn around to see what the commotion is. Looking at the spilled mess of Jenga bricks, Jisung can’t get his mind to comprehend Jaemin’s words. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He likes me? That—But that doesn’t make—Oh maybe as a friend. A close friend. A teammate.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Seconds later, he feels his phone vibrate in his pocket. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaemin is already making moves to clean up the disaster in front of them while Jisung shares the news. “I, um, have to go.” Jisung begins to explain. Dissatisfaction seeps out of his tone as he stares at the text message. “It’s because it’s a school night, y’know? My mom just texted saying it’s getting late.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t logical to resent Jisung’s mom over caring for her son. He felt incredibly selfish for wanting to spend all the time in the world with the boy. He was growing tired of always watching him from afar or keeping up the facade of the caring senior. He wanted to be that person to him… and more.  He wanted to know more about him; from the reasons why he started dancing to why he always cried after they won at competitions to what his relationship was with that Chenle person he’s always around. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaemin doesn't let his mind speculate too far as he slides the box over to Jisung. He’s managed to pile up some of the wooden bricks that were knocked over, and stacks them nicely on the shop’s table. Jaemin already had the blocks in neat rows that he knew were probably going to get jumbled and misaligned by Jisung’s clumsiness. It’s fine, and not a big deal, though. Not when Jaemin is completely enamored by him as a person. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, let’s get going then” and with his word, Jisung follows Jaemin out the door. His empty, plastic cup with leftover tapioca sits in the trash. The only memory of this day will be their memories, and Jisung doesn’t know why it makes him feel so devastated. Above all else, Jaemin stopped on the way home to get drinks with him. To talk and laugh and play games with him. To cheer him up when he was obviously feeling down (although he was the main cause of it). Not many people can reach out to Jisung, apparently he has a high untouchability factor that he doesn’t understand, so it makes sense why he gets all heart-fluttery while being around his senior. Jaemin crosses that line that everyone is so scared to get near. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jisung doesn’t know why Jaemin is so nice to him, but sometimes he lets his mind consider  the possibility of simply because he’s Jisung—because he’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Not because he's a junior or a good dancer. Just solely for the fact that he’s Jisung and he’s special. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They’re five minutes into the car ride, Jisung making sure to point out directions way ahead of time since he remembers that’s proper navigator etique, when Jaemin turns down the radio to speak. “So, are you feeling better?” He doesn’t turn to look at Jisung fully, but glances over to the passenger seat when he can. When the road is clear or the traffic lights allow him more time to admire the boy next to him, Jaemin would let his eyes linger longer than usual. Jisung was too busy looking out the window to notice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He answers before giving any thought. They pass shops and housing districts with a blur as the blue sky turns purple. “Yeah. I am actually.” After hearing his candid reply, Jaemin’s fingers tap on the steering wheel to the quiet beat of the music. He contemplates asking the question that’s been in his head for hours. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What was bothering you?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When half a minute of silence goes by, Jaemin starts to regret ever existing. </span>
  <em>
    <span>That was way too personal. He probably feels pressured to answer. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Panicking, Jaemin attempts to lighten the atmosphere, “You don’t have to tell me! Actually, don’t tell me! I did say earlier you didn’t have to tell me, so,” His voice is an octave higher than usual. “Everyone has their bad days, so, um, don’t be too hard on yourself Jisungie.” He continues to ramble on about not internalizing mistakes since it’s bad for a person’s self esteem. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Jisung finds the confidence to bring his eyes to Jaemin, he wants to laugh. His face is flushed red, exasperated from talking so fast, and he doesn’t even take a break to breathe. Jisung tries to save him from more embarrassment than he’s already caused by shifting topics, “Well, what about you? You didn’t seem happy during practice either.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaemin’s chatter slows to a stop. Jisung thinks he’s stepped on a landmine as he watches his senior’s face morph from bashful to restrained and then shy. It’s as if recalling today’s events bring even more embarrassment. Before Jisung can throw himself out the window, Jaemin replies, “It was just something bothering me. Nothing important.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jisung feels like he doesn’t have the right to be upset with his response, yet he is. They were close—at least Jisung considered them to be. Maybe it was just his desperation to know what Jaemin was thinking, but he felt like he had to know as teammates. He was affecting the atmosphere of practice afterall. “It wasn’t</span>
  <em>
    <span> nothing</span>
  </em>
  <span>. You weren’t even talking.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s nothing I can’t get over. Don’t worry about it Jisungie.” Jaemin coos sweetly, and for once Jisung doesn’t like the way he’s talking to him. He directs Jaemin to make a left at the stoplight. Just five more minutes and they’ll be at his house. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Against his better judgement, Jisung asks, “Who—Who is Renjun?” He remembers his conversation with Jeno earlier that day. It was a name that stuck in the back of his mind like a reminder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaemin’s eyes are wide with surprise as he travels down the road towards Jisung’s house. He’s a little confused, but still gives his precious Jisung an answer. “Rejun as in Huang Renjun? He’s my friend, but—” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jisung intervenes as Jaemin makes a turn, “I just brought him up because Jeno said something about him. Because… I asked if you were okay at practice and everything.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hearing how concerned Jisung was for him causes a grin to spread across his face. Jaemin loves seeing how emotional Jisung can get. He can go from joyful to upset to angry all within minutes if you know how to mess with him. His cute expressions. How charismatic he is while dancing. His huge heart and adoration for his seniors. Jaemin could sit here and read off his endless list of why he likes Park Jisung, but then he’d be here all night. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Much to his dismay, they both have a curfew. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaemin didn’t realize how fast the car ride would pass or how eager Jisung would be to leave. As soon as he parks, the younger is gathering his bags and undoing his seatbelt hastily. He bids Jaemin a </span>
  <em>
    <span>goodbye</span>
  </em>
  <span> and a </span>
  <em>
    <span>see you tomorrow </span>
  </em>
  <span>in a quiet voice, before grabbing the door handle. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jisung halts his actions as he feels Jaemin’s hand on his arm. His grip is tight. “You—” Jisung’s eyes are filled with a heavy emotion that stifles Jaemin’s words. “You’re upset,” is all he can say. He’s lost. All Jaemin wanted to do was make Jisung feel better, but instead he’s brought his own problems into the situation. Even though his troubles had everything to do with Jisung, it wasn’t his fault Jaemin was acting weird. Thanks to his own feelings, Jaemin assumes a bunch of misunderstandings have been caused. He had to fix it. He wouldn’t let Jisung leave until he properly understood.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jisung pulls his arm away with a weak force, “It doesn’t matter. </span>
  <em>
    <span>It’s not important</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” He throws Jaemin’s words back into his face. Jaemin’s eyebrows furrow after realizing the damage he’s caused by not letting Jisung know the entire truth. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Listen, Jisung—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, I really have to go.” His eyes shift to the  digital clock in Jaemin’s car. “My mom is already worried. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then I’ll be quick.” Jaemin reassures. “Please?” His big eyes are pleading and Jisung can’t resist. He collapses into the passenger seat out of emotional exhaustion. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaemin claimed he would be fast, so he has no time to put his thoughts in order. He had always dreamed of telling Jisung how he felt. Maybe it would be privately after a big show case that he did well at or on impulse after Renjun’s teasing had gotten unbearable. Even though confessing in his car, with the air conditioning blasting way too high, wasn’t ideal, Jaemin couldn’t really see another way out of this. He would just say what was in his heart and then act like nothing happened. They’ll still be teammates. He can still give him snacks. It’ll be fine. </span>
  <em>
    <span>It’ll be fine. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, I um,” Jisung notices Jaemin’s hands are shaking and he starts to feel guilty, “wow, it’s cold in here, but um,” he turns the air conditioning off to fill the car with the low hum of the radio. He instantly regrets it after the silence starts to suffocate him. “Anyways, um, I don’t really know where to start. Sorry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jisung’s eyes never move from his body as he watches Jaemin dramatically sigh. His forehead hits the top of the steering wheel with a soft thud. He whispers loud enough for Jisung to hear, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“This was so much easier in my head.” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Jisung doesn’t really know what he means and starts to grow confused on what he has to tell him. Maybe Jaemin is uncovering some huge secret about his life. Maybe that’s why only Renjun knew and he’s struggling to find the words. Jisung feels guilty he’s pushing Jaemin to his limits, but still excited he would share this much with him. Maybe he’s not the only one who thinks they have a close relationship. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaemin stays in that position for a minute longer before realizing Jisung has to get home to his parents. He shakes his head of any worries before sitting up straight to face Jisung head-on. He knows his ears are glowing red in the darkness of the car, but he doesn’t care. He just has to </span>
  <em>
    <span>say</span>
  </em>
  <span> it. He just has to say—</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So—” Jisung’s face is waiting anxiously and Jaemin thinks this is the wrong time to point out how cute he is, “So about today—about practice. My friend Renjun.” He waits for Jisung to nod before proceeding, “He found out about this, I guess, secret about me. Well, it’s not really a secret it’s just that no one knew until he found out today.” Jisung nods in understanding before Jaemin inhales a shaky breath. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And he made a big deal about it which is why he kept texting me—like he even walked me to practice just to talk about which I thought was an overkill. Don’t you think so?” Jisung doesn’t know how to react, so he just nodded. “He thought he would see</span>
  <em>
    <span> you,</span>
  </em>
  <span> but luckily you were taking forever to talk with your best friend like always.” Jaemin is so nervous that he over explains certain details in an attempt to avoid saying what was really on his mind. The main point of this entire conversation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jisung, hanging onto his every word, asks, “Why would he want to see me?” He doesn’t really understand where this is leading to. His suspicions were already high since this secret involved someone Jisung didn’t know, Renjun, but now it has to do with him as well? The two strangers have nothing in common besides Jaemin. It was making no sense.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaemin thinks long and hard before speaking again, “Well, I—The reason why I was talking to Renjun so much was because of you.” Before Jisung can ask why, Jaemin speaks again. His voice slightly trembling and higher than usual. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because I like you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jisung’s expression instantly forms into a smile out of habit. He’s embarrassed, yet his mind is still processing it. He doesn’t get it. Jaemin is—Jaemin is Na Jaemin. He can pull off pink hair. He’s popular. He’s extremely good looking. He’s an amazing dancer and performer. He’s likable and caring to everyone. Jisung stumbles on his words, “Wh-What? H—Why?” </span>
  <em>
    <span>He could literally have anyone in the world, so why the hell would he choose me?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because I like you, Jisung.” He says seriously for the second time. It fills him with a new found confidence. Jaemin doesn’t let Jisung cower away like he wants to. Instead, he brings himself closer, “I like you because you’re you. You’re awkward and kind and follow me around like a puppy. I like the way you dance. I like you. I like too many things about you.” Jaemin rambles.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jisung’s head is spinning. He feels overwhelmed with new information. Never would he have thought Jaemin would reciprocate his feelings or feel the same way. All this time spent admiring him when Jaemin was secretly hiding his own emotions. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After a minute of silence, Jaemin had came down from his adrenaline rush and was faced with the embarrassing reality, “I don’t expect you to feel the same way, but, y’know, since you wanted to know what was bothering me and I didn’t want you to be upset because of me. You’re important to me and everything,” He takes a deep breath, “I know you have that thing going on with your friend, so don’t let me get in your way.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That’s when Jisung can’t help but speak up. Even through all his shock and happiness, he still understands Jaemin crystal clear. He…likes him. He said it about ten times. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He likes him</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Na Jaemin really likes him. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But just like everyone else, he thought Jisung’s heart was set on Chenle. Jisung doesn’t get it. Never once did he admit to liking his friend, yet Jaemin had fallen into believing the rumors circulating around school.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jisung wants to call for his attention, but he’s already nervous. Without wasting another second he begins to speak, “I never liked my friend—Chenle. He’s my best friend. Everyone always thinks that we’re more than friends, but,” Jaemin has his full, unwavering attention on Jisung. His gaze smothers the younger. Jisung wants to look away, but he doesn’t. He knows he shouldn’t when it comes to situations like this, “But, it’s not true. He’s not the one I like.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A pause before Jaemin presses, somewhat hopeful, “Then, who do you like?” He unconsciously gets closer with his huge eyes that have Jisung swooning. His heart is thundering in his chest as he looks to face towards the windshield. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hyung, it’s not really important—” Jisung tries to weed his way out of the situation he’s gotten them into. As if he’s not six feet deep in the ground, basically in his own casket. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaemin groans, exasperated and emotionally drained, “It is very important.” He emphasizes every word with a pout, “Don’t be unfair, Jisungie. Let me support you and whoever you like.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The way he spoke hurt Jisung’s heart. Jaemin was so sure Jisung wasn’t thinking of him. He even spoke supportively of Jisung liking someone else and Jisung figured that had to bring pain to Jaemin. Sighing, he realized there was no way out of this without saying the truth, “Well, it’s always been you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The car was eerily silent and Jisung considers he didn’t hear him somehow. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’ve always been the one I liked. Ever since I met you, I’ve liked you Jaemin hyung.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaemin’s emotions go from relieved to have confessed his feelings, to confused on what exactly Jisung was hiding, and then finally settling for over the moon elated as he comprehended Jisung’s words. Before he even realizes what he’s doing, he closes the space between them. His arms wrap around Jisung tightly and squeeze around his shoulders.  He hears the mumbled words of Jaemin saying they were stupid not to notice how they’ve both liked each other for so long. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jisung slowly, but surely, reciprocates Jaemin’s embrace as his arms come up around Jaemin’s torso. It’s awkward. They’re hugging across Jaemin’s center console in his car, but Jisung doesn’t mind. He’s waited months to say those three words and would never imagine Jaemin felt the same way. But with his head resting on Jaemin’s shoulder and the sensation of Jaemin’s heartbeat against his own, he starts to consider today’s events a reality. It causes a frenzy of butterflies in his stomach and puts a smile on his face. Jaemin likes him. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Jaemin actually likes him. And he just told Jaemin how he felt!</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaemin is the first to put distance between them. He’s looking down at Jisung leaning into him with the most genuine smile Jisung has ever seen. It causes him to sit up with his arms still enclosed around Jaemin. Even though they were just hugging, they weren’t making eye contact until now. Now, Jaemin is faced with shy Jisung, too embarrassed to hold his gaze. They’re a lot closer than they were two minutes ago, if Jaemin wanted to, he could just tilt Jisung’s face and close the space between them. It would be so easy to ki—</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Suddenly, Jisung’s phone vibrates in his front pocket. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaemin is laughing as Jisung is springing to reach for the device. He scoots to the edge of his seat, eyes still unable to look Jaemin’s way. After reading the message, he lets out a sigh of relief, “It—It’s my mom. I </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> gotta go.” He reaches for his bags for the second time that night, “I, um, thanks for the ride hyung.” He pauses for a few seconds longer before continuing, “And for telling me…everything. It means a lot to me.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaemin reached over to squish the younger’s cheeks with a pinch, “I learned a lot Jisungie. Let’s go out again sometime?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was more like an offer than a statement. As confident as Jaemin tried to appear, this was still the boy he liked. He was still living in denial that this entire day had even happened because it all felt unreal. Jisung liking him? It was a fantasy until he confirmed it himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh definitely! For sure, hyung! Anytime! Tomorrow even, if you’re free after practice...” He obliges a bit too eagerly and opens the door before he can make a bigger fool of himself. He swears he’s not this big of an idiot. Only when Na Jaemin is within a mile radius does he start losing his mind. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaemin laughs, smiling, “Okay sure. Whatever you want to do, I’ll be there.” </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>+++</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jisung bypasses his mother’s scolding as he rushes inside the house, stopping at the doorway to wave Jaemin goodbye, and makes his way to his room. She’s yelling about being on time and telling her where exactly he is when he goes out while he goes down the hallway to his room, but Jisung is too caught up in his feelings to comprehend any of that. His door is closed shut. His bags are dropped at the foot of his bed. His head goes straight to his hands as he tries to make sense of what just happened. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Immediately, he calls the only person he could think of while pacing around his room in a frenzy. His hands are aggressively running through his hair with a smile on his face as the phone continues to ring. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“What? You’re interrupting me!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dude! You’re not going to believe what just—“</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“If this is about Na Jaemin, I swear,” </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jisung goes silent since he couldn’t deny that fact. In his defense, he wasn’t on Na Jaemin conversation ban. That had ended as soon as they left school. Jisung often found loopholes in texts, but a confession wasn’t exactly something he felt like typing. Either way, Chenle screams on the other side of the line in frustration. When they became best friends, he did not realize listening to Jisung’s lovesick babbling was apart of the deal. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I want a damn refund on this friendship.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>bet u thought they were gonna kiss, huh? LMAO.<br/>no but fr i miss posting my writing so hopefully i will get back on here and wrap stuff up + start new things for everyone?<br/>comment n kudos if u want. love u all. stay healthy!!!!!stay safe!!! </p><p>here's the contents that inspired this: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZMMlrrRMOZY">yeah</a> &amp; <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Q47KnbOZjc">yess</a> &amp; <a href="https://twitter.com/NCTsmtown_DREAM/status/1256186752454164480?s=20">boba</a> &lt;3 - simi</p></blockquote></div></div>
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